Mmm.. a joke so old it needs a feather duster.

So let me explain to some of you whippersnappers what’s going on here.

Back in the day, when mastadon still roamed the earth… we used small metal boxes to call each other’s phones. Connected to other people’s phones were other silver boxes – and they would chat. On the host computer would be a bulletin board system (aka bbs) and there would be tons of forums, games, and enjoyment. Sysop is short for ‘SystemOperator’ – but being a SysOp of a board meant you were its totalitarian ruler.. because you know, your phone line (or your parents.)

The dark side of it was piracy, where having 0-D@4 3l1t3 war3z (0-Day elite wares) meant that you were a pretty hep cat. The truth being, everyone said they had 0-Day (which meant that the moment something was released to the pirates, YOUR SITE GOT IT. It was there not on day 1.. but day 0.. get it? Yeah, its dumb.) So let’s point out the fact that if our narrator here is on a board with NO other users… nobody logging in.. how the hell would he have the newest games and apps?

On nice safe boards where normal folks would talk their ends of nerdery, there were even stigmas about going to “Warez Boards”. Sometimes you had two pseudonyms so you weren’t seen in both places. THIS SHIT WAS IMPORTANT PEOPLE!

I could tell bbs stories as much as I can talk weirdo convention stories… it took up that much of my life as a youthful preteen and on.

This story isn’t going to get LESS nerdy for a bit, I promise.